A Christmas Bet
by Lady Suji
Summary: One night, Al and Ivan made a drunken bet. The one who lost the bet, sadly, must wear a very special piece of "festive clothing". What is the bet? Read to find out! multichapter, yaoi, RuUs some bondage? idk
1. Chapter 1

Slow and deliberate footsteps inched hesitantly closer to the door. The wretched, evil door. Every time I looked at that damn door, I halfheartedly held back from kicking it silly. It just stood there, mocking me with its indifferent look. I wondered if that possessed door could feel pain. It was _his_ door, that evil man's door, and it beckoned pompously for me to enter. But, a bet was a bet, and I reluctantly reached for the gold door knob, silently praying that the man awaiting me wouldn't tease me heavily. My crimson striped dress, with white stockings and fluff adorning the straps and the hem. An iconic Santa hat was plopped atop of my head. Of course, the burgundy stripper heels made the look. All and all, I looked like a sissy-man. Unfortunately for my pride, I was greeted with a rich, jovial laugh that made my heart skip a beat. I would never tell him that though.

"Comrade, I see you kept your end of the bargain! And what a wonderful bargain I have made! This will be fun, da?" Ivan teased condescendingly, a smirk flawlessly placed on his face. A candy cane slipped inbetween the crevice of his smirk, revealing his slick tongue. Oh, how I wanted to punch that stupid, smug, _sexy_ smirk off his face. Wait, did I just say _sexy_?

"Shut up! I just didn't want you to friggin' have a hissy fit! I'm the hero, right? Heroes can't cause hissy fits dumbass! They stop them!" I retorted, crossing my arms and sticking out my tongue. Sadly, said "dumbass" did not take the bait. He only let a deep chuckle escape, as his eyes roamed the expanse of my skin. So, he pretty much was 'eye molesting' me.

"Dude, what the hell are you looking at? Just cuz I'm wearing a dress doesn't mean you can go all pedo-bear on me!" I exclaimed self-consciously, trying in earnest to cover myself. But, as I pulled the attire down to cover myself, the skimpy, red striped lingerie dress stretched and groaned, and a tear escaped from one of the seams. I scanned the dress, only to locate a gaping, wide tear that exposed more of my leg. My blush rouged my cheeks thoroughly. I would have put Antonio's tomatoes to shame.

"Oh Alfie, are you that excited to take off your clothes that you'll rip them off? I could have done that for you!" Ivan exclaimed in pseudo-shock. He gave the candy-cane he was devouring a long, sultry lick.

"Hell no bitch! I'm not gonna take my clothes off for you! I like boobies!" I shrieked (in a manly way, of course), but Ivan would have none of that. He could see through my lies. He only laughed harder, and I blushed in shame.

"Really, then why did you bet against me? You know, if you won, I would have to wear it." Ivan replied, motioning to the dress, and added, "I know you'd say something like, 'It'll be for blackmail!' or 'It's revenge for the Christmas party karaoke fiasco!' but I know you'd just jack off to it."

"Wait, what? No! It really would be for blackmail! And you said you'd never talk about the karaoke thing! But I really would use it for blackmail!"

"Da! And you'd be telling yourself this while you moan and pant and _gasp_ my name in ecstasy as you threw your head back and-"

"NO! Do not finish that thought you commie pedo-bear!"

"Oh, would you like me to dress up as a bear and ravish you like that? Kinky, da?" Ivan teased, unzippering his pants. My mouth was agape, and my throat caught. How the hell did I lose my voice then?

"S-Stop! Q-Quit doing that! It's creepy!" I protested, and Ivan tilted his head, his smirk becoming almost ethereal. It was seriously friggin' scary.

"Oh, the things I will do to you, конфетка…" Ivan purred, sensually tracing his lips with his pink tongue. I shivered. Immediately, my instincts kicked in, and I turned for the door, hoping it had no hard feelings. I tried opening the doorknob, but the door was…

Locked. I inwardly cursed at the door as I turned around, fury setting into my system like a raging virus. I lunged for Ivan, and pinned him by the neck.

"You were planning on having your way with me, you Winter Wonderland fag! I knew it you commie! Why don't you go fuck General Winter or something?" I yelled, shaking his neck in wrath. His laugh eluded his lips through clusters of ragged pants. My Santa hat, which Ivan insisted I wore, jingled and clanged an annoyingly merry ring. Swiftly, he gripped my hips, and grinded his growing arousal against my exposed backside. A traitorous gasp slipped through my lips, and liquid tongues of fiery passion lapped against my skin, and the static aftermath pooled into my loins. Prying, groping, scorching hot hands invaded and conquered the plains of my back, massaging my firm butt. As I moved my hands to swat the intruding hands away, the Russian flipped us so I gazed into amaranthine orbs, brilliantly voicing his passion and desire. The Russian's eyes always intrigued me, and even then, in such a compromising position, they still did. Of course, I still had to fight for my pride.

"GET OFF ME RUSSIA!" I shrieked (again, it was manly!), as I writhed underneath him, hoping that I could sliver away from his feral gaze. In one swift movement, he had my arms pinned down with one hand, and the other hiking up the thin material. Ivan seized my lips, ravishing every corner of my mouth. The slippery appendage coaxed my tongue, and my thoughts were in a lust colored cloud, dulling my sense of pride and decency altogether. In that one passionate moment, I was pleasantly lost from my reality, and the only thing that existed was the bubbling pleasure and dirty whispers that traveled into my ear. In that one moment, I was no nation. I was no man. I was Alfred.

"Ready, Alfie? I hope I aroused you enough. I promise I will be gentle."

With an offer like that, how could I refuse?


	2. Chapter 2

_Ivan Pov:_

Sweat. The substance that pricked and tickled my back, and only fueled my desire to see my golden-haired beauty. I had been waiting patiently for numerous hours, each of which built up my nervousness. That same sweat coated my hands in a fine sheen of translucent tension. I had tried to eat candy canes, but to no avail. The sweat was the indicator of my waiting, and made me anxious. I wanted to see him so desperately. I wanted to touch him intimately, taste his immaculate ivory flesh, and worship the expanse of his soft skin. I wanted to devour the musical moans that would pour from his pouty lips and waft into the air like a starving man.

I just wanted him.

But, like every good thing, (for me, at least) it always became twisted and warped with the means in which I obtained it, like a devilish, deceiving funhouse mirror. I had tricked the blue-eyed nation into a bet, a bet I knew I would win. Of course, the bet could have only been placed into affect if he was drunk. Desperation possessed the rationality of my mind, and forced me to take my angel to a bar, the result of which was his extremely drunken stupor. There, he agreed to wear the Christmas themed stripper costume if I had won. The actual reason of the bet, however, was not to embarrass my sweet Alfred. No, I only wanted to make love to his lithe but muscular form, and forever keep him with me. These feelings rested inside me like a dormant volcano, waiting for the opportune moment to burst forth from my heart. The ice is melting, it always has been, and forever will be as long as his shining face stays the pinnacle of my life. As I lay on the overly comfortable mattress, I began to drift off into sleep, with the forlorn candy cane in my mouth.

_7 days ago, leaving the bar:_

"Ivannnnn! You's gonna looks sexyyyy in dat outfits! Haha*hic**burp*" Alfred exclaimed, stumbling over his feet as he tried ridiculously to skip. We had just passed the shop where the dress would be purchased. I sighed, but a smile curled my lips. Despite his obvious drunkenness, he was quite cute. In an… _odd_ kind of way.

"Sure, sure, right after you wear it for me." I replied bluntly, a smirk tweaking my lips. Honestly, I would have made the Cheshire Cat proud. I did have some vodka in my system, but luckily, my tolerance for the burning liquid was much higher than the boisterous blonde's. Pure, cheerful spurts of laughter caressed my ears, and Alfred clung to my arm. Looking thoroughly disheveled, with his rumpled white dress shirt and jeans, he wiped the corners of his eyes, still laughing.

"That's not a bad idea~~*hic*!"

"What idea?" I replied, looking down at him sweetly. I knew the answer, but I wanted to hear his musical voice say it aloud. Warmth swelled in my chest as he looked at me with his innocent smile, which had more radiance than anything in this world.

"Me wearings the dress~~~! Would *hic* _you_ like ittttt~~?" Alfred inquired, batting his eye lashes. Honestly, I wished Alfred acted like this more often. '_I should make a mental note to get him drunk as much as possible_' I mused, before cupping his cheek. Never in my wildest dreams (as cliché as that sounds) would I ever even think that I could do this. He only relaxed into my hand, and an adorable sigh slipped forth from his lips.

"I would, my подсолнечник." I purred, and Alfred squealed. _Squealed_. It was the most adorable but uncharacteristic thing I had ever seen him do, and instinct took over. Seizing his lips, and molding them with my own, I pulled him closer. Alfred moaned, and I could feel his grin broaden. He tugged me closer, wrapping his arms around my neck. Deepening the kiss, he tilted his head at the perfect angle. Once we had both reluctantly broke away from the kiss, he tackled my in a hug, with more of those immaculate squeals escaping from his plump lips. He was hopping in my arms, and kissed me again, with a renewed fervor. His tongue teased and tangled with mine sensually, and a smirk played on my lips once more. Finally, once we had broken the kiss, I stroked his golden hair. I helped him up with a truly cheerful grin, which he reciprocated. He held onto my arm, and we made way to our destination.

Francis and Arthur's house.

_Back at Ivan's room_:

Stomping awoke me from my lovely dream, and I jerked up. I was upset that Alfred had forgotten that night entirely, but relief also comforted me. It would have made things easier if he didn't remember anyway. But, that didn't take away the stabbing pain in my heart. A colorful array of curses paraded throughout the corridor and into my room, and I sighed. Alfred was here, and he wasn't happy. Putting on my carefully fabricated mask of indifference and smugness, I waited for the click of the door knob. The smirk on my face felt painful, but I knew he was not one at reading true emotions. When he came in, my breath hitched. He looked… gorgeous. There was no other way to describe him. He had the lovely red striped dress, that clung to his lithe body flawlessly, and the iconic Santa hat plopped on his head. His heels were as dark a red as his face, and I gained my composure enough to tease him.

"Comrade, I see you kept your end of the bargain! And what a wonderful bargain I have made! This will be fun, da?"

"Shut up! I just didn't want you to friggin' have a hissy fit! I'm the hero, right? Heroes can't cause hissy fits dumbass! They stop them!" He fruitlessly retorted, and I let out a chuckle as I looked him down.

"Dude, what the hell are you looking at? Just cuz I'm wearing a dress doesn't mean you can go all pedo-bear on me!" He exclaimed, pointlessly trying to cover himself. The material of the dress shrieked and groaned as a tear ripped through the dress. I licked my lips unconsciously as I ravenously scanned the expanse of leg exposed but the rip.

"Oh Alfie, are you that excited to take off your clothes that you'll rip them off? I could have done that for you!" I gasped, and just for the moment's sake, I gave the forgotten candy cane a long lick. He blushed once more.

"Hell no bitch! I'm not gonna take my clothes off for you! I like boobies!" He shrieked, and of course, I knew the truth, even if he didn't. My heart thumped in my chest, but my mask was far from cracking. It would have to stay intact for my plan to work.

"Really, then why did you bet against me? You know, if you won, I would have to wear it." I replied smugly, nodding to the dress, "I know you'd say something like, 'It'll be for blackmail!' or 'It's revenge for the Christmas party karaoke fiasco!' but I know you'd just jack off to it."

"Wait, what? No! It really would be for blackmail! And you said you'd never talk about the karaoke thing! But I really would use it for blackmail!"

"Da! And you'd be telling yourself this while you moan and pant and _gasp_ my name in ecstasy as you threw your head back and-"

"NO! Do not finish that thought you commie pedo-bear!"

"Oh, would you like me to dress up as a bear and ravish you like that? Kinky, da?" I teased, and I began to unzipper my pants, hoping to turn his face a darker shade of red. I had gotten the desired effect, but, an underlying emotion appeared in his eyes; fear. A terrible taste filled my mouth, but I had to stick to my plan. I had to. I gave him a smirk, and the emotion only intensified.

"S-Stop! Q-Quit doing that! It's creepy!"

"Oh, the things I will do to you, конфетка…" I purred, hoping the tone of my voice might sound less creepy. He scowled, but the fear was replaced with anger. Anger I could deal with, but not fear. He turned to check the door, and noticed the door was locked. When he turned around, rage contorted his features, and he tackled me, squeezing my neck with his graceful fingers.

"You were planning on having your way with me, you Winter Wonderland fag! I knew it you commie! Why don't you go fuck General Winter or something?" Alfred shrieked once more, and I began to laugh. Of course, it was cut off by my asphyxiation. To tease him, I gripped his hips, and grinded against his backside. A particularly loud gasp burst from his lips and I could see his growing arousal. I massaged and groped him, anything to make him fear me less, and maybe even remind him of that night when he kissed me. I flipped him around so he was under me, his own eyes clouded in newly formed lust. I knew at some point, he would fight for his pride.

"GET OFF ME RUSSIA!" He gasped, and he writhed in desperation. To try and calm him somehow, I pinned down his arms, and kissed him. His body tensed immediately at the sudden shock, but he moaned once my tongue had infiltrated his warm, wet mouth. My hand slid under the material, and I rubbed his stomach in slow, sensual circles. I whispered promises of pleasure and fun, and he only moaned at the prospect.

"Ready, Alfie? I hope I aroused you enough. I promise I will be gentle." I asked, and the blonde only nodded.


	3. Chapter 3

_Alfred POV:_

"Ahn, Ivan!" I moaned brazenly as the man above me inhaled my neck with smothering kisses. He only rumbled into my soft spot, a smirk shamelessly smoldering itself into the crook of my neck. Heat radiated from the pleasurable wound; I couldn't help myself. Another wanton groan pried open my lips with its intangible hands and let itself loose. Ivan looked up from his handiwork, and he cupped my cheek. Amaranthine orbs sent tingles of renegade euphoria down my spine, and I growled from the loss of contact. He only smiled, still holding my face. Pink caressed his lips as he licked his lips eagerly, and my face blazed crimson. Damn seductive commie and his Russian Jedi mind tricks!

"Alfred, you look beautiful. I'm glad you're not fighting me." He whispered sweetly, and my scowl lightened. The tinge of sadness (which I normally wouldn't hear) made my stomach drop stories, and my teeth grasped onto my lower lip for comfort.

"U-um… Thanks…" I mumbled, the words shyly slipping from my lips and slivering into the floorboards. Just to make Ivan feel better, I gave him a dwarf of a smile (compared to my regular one), but it was still visible in the dimness of the room. Ivan's eyes widened considerably, and he seized my lips roughly. Shock coursed through my body, but something else swept through my conscious and reminded me of something important, but what could it be? But, I didn't have enough time to think about it, because Ivan began to grind his arousal roughly against mine. His relentless assault on my neck almost sent me to pleasurable oblivion, but then, he halted. I was going to whine, but his smirk reappeared.

"Wait, little Alfie… I'll help you soon…" He purred, before turning toward the small table beside the bed. I rolled around the bed, the friction increasing my pool of pleasure. I don't know what that commie put in the air (it must have been a super-dee-duper aphrodisiac or something), because I was incredibly horny. And no, I will not admit it was because of Ivan. Arms encased me in warmth, trapping me. I pouted, and kisses embraced the nape of my neck once more. My cold pout melted into a grin and giggle, but I held my tongue. 'What the hell was that? Ivan can't make you giggle like a little girl! That's so… so…' I scolded myself, but stroking caresses muddled my thoughts. Another moan tricked my lips and escaped from my mouth. With all other movements halted, Ivan turned me so that I faced him. His amethyst eyes beamed, and his smile was a genuine, lovely, _hopeful_ one. Guilt pooled in my stomach, but my mind and heart still battled with one another. Should I accept these feelings, or just push them away now to save my pride as a nation? That question and many others plagued my mind, but once I saw that smile, the answer hit me and I finally realized; screw my pride, I love Ivan! Tears overwhelmed my eyes, and spilled over my eyes, but I smiled broadly. Of course, they were manly tears of a hero! Heroes cry, right?

"Oh, Ivan!" I exclaimed, pulling him close. Eyebrows furrowed, he opened his mouth into a small 'o'. I just pulled him into an eager kiss, and he smiled. Once we pulled away reluctantly, Ivan ruffled my hair.

"Since when do you giggle, grin, and kiss me happily? Are you the real Alfie? I'm starting to get a little bit scared." Ivan replied jokingly, his sweet, musical laughter echoing in the room. I just kept my broad grin, a blush rouging my cheeks.

"Well, I uh-um, realized something important. Really important. More important than McDonalds, and you _KNOW_ how much I love my _McDonalds_." I stressed, holding his gaze in an iron grip. He held onto my hips, and pulled me onto his lap.

"What дорогой? You may tell me anything." He cooed, keeping hold of my gaze with a gentle passion.

"I-I think I love you…" I mumbled, as if I were a child admitting they had done a bad deed. But instead of an angry teacher, I was rewarded with an ecstatic Russian. He held on me tight, and chanted,

"I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!"

An assault of kisses pattered onto my stomach, as Ivan pushed me onto my back. The contact of the kisses made me giggle, and his happiness was infectious. Ivan was still smiling, but his eyes regained their mischievous glint.

"Want to finish what we started?"

I nodded, and Ivan ripped the dress off altogether, before tugging down the girly lingerie underwear. Immediately my arousal stiffened, and Ivan smirked. Pink velvet heat slithered around the head, before the pleasurable abyss of his mouth began to sheathe itself onto the shaft. All I could do was moan and groan and _gasp_ as he went lower. Slurping and sucking sounds filled the room, and I had to hold onto his dark platinum locks to keep myself from fainting. Ivan rubbed his fingers (that magically lubed themselves), around my entrance. At the moment of pleasurable oblivion, however, his mouth parted with a loud pop. He moved lower, and kissed my entrance. Spreading my cheeks with his slippery hands, he began to thrust his tongue into the puckered hole. My eyes popped open, and Ivan only indulged himself further. The uncomfortable tingling melted away, and I threw my head back as he went deeper. Grumbling at the loss of contact, I pouted, but Ivan chose this moment to plunge his finger inside. It was _much_ bigger than a tongue, or even a regular sized adult male finger. He kissed and whispered reassuring words into my ears, as I whimpered at the intruding object. After a minute or so, Ivan brushed up against something, and I moaned loudly. Slapping a hand onto my mouth, I bit my hand.

"Do you like that?" Ivan purred, and I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck. I kissed his cheek, motioning for him to continue. His smirk softened into an endearing smile, and he bit his lip. Kissing my forehead, he accompanied the first digit with a second one. The pain that coursed through my body was almost unbearable, but I held on to Ivan with a small smile. Even with the pain, I didn't want him to leave. After another increment of minutes on the clock, I nodded once more, leaving a chaste kiss in my wake. Ivan only added another finger in reply, and I gasped in pain. Ivan immediately removed them, and a look of worry warped his features.

"Дорогой, are you alright? Are you in pain? I can stop." Ivan inquired thoughtfully. He cupped my face with his free hand.

"No, keep goin'! I'm fine." I replied. I knew he would if I told him no, but (like I said before), I just wanted him to stay. I loved him.

The fingers continued, and this time, Ivan brushed against that spot inside me repeatedly. I moaned and panted in ecstasy, as he pampered my neck with passionate kisses and nips. Finally, he let his fingers slip from me, deeming my entrance properly stretched. He took out his own arousal, the whole shaft and head completely red. It was gigantic, and I licked my lips and gulped involuntarily. He only smirked. Lathering himself in lube, he began to guide himself inside me. He stretched me immediately, but it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Ivan inched himself further and further, until he had completely sheathed himself. Groans and pants left his lips, and wafted into the air like a delicious smell. Moving my hips, I urged him to continue. Ivan set a gentle pace, but with each passing moment, that pace crescendoed into a fast dance of limbs.

"IVAN! IVAN!" I shrieked, gasping and panting wantonly. Ivan just kept his ruthless tempo, a smirk plastered on his face. Each thrust aimed and hit my pleasure spot (which I would later know as my prostate), and my stomach coiled. I gave out another cry of Ivan's name, before white splashed across my vision, and comets danced around my eyes. Ivan's movements became sporadic, and he grunted my name as he filled me with his seed. We both lay there, basking in the afterglow of sex. After he regained his breath, Ivan pulled out reluctantly, and curled his arms around me. I snuggled closer, giving Ivan a feather light kiss on his cheek.

"I love you Ivan."

"I love you too, Alfred. But, why such a change of heart all of a sudden?" Ivan inquired, tucking back a lock of my sweat-drenched hair lovingly.

"I just realized that I was just pushing my feelings back, and that I loved you. And obviously now was the perfect chance to tell you." I giggled in reply, before letting out a yawn. "I'm tired. Need sleepy." I added, wrapping my arms around him. Ivan smiled into my forehead. We both fell asleep that way; in a tangle of messy covers, completely content.

A/N: I'm going to reveal the actual bet in the next chapter. I have a hilarious idea, that I will not tell you. It takes place in a city though. :3

Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive of my writing! You guys rock. :)

Review if you want, you don't have to if you don't want to. :)

Bibi!

~Lady Suji


	4. Chapter 4

_Alfred's POV:_

Releasing a yawn, I reluctantly awoke from my slumber. I rubbed my eyes, trying to get the sleep out of them. I hit the bedside table, trying to silence my alarm clock. But, there was no clock. I searched for it, but only found an unfamiliar room. I also noticed an oversized button-down shirt on myself, and I looked at it incredulously. Fear set in, and I began to panic. Frantically jerking my head left and right, I shrieked, "WHERE THE FUCK AM I? THIS ISN'T MY SUPERMAN ROOM!"

Immediately, Ivan burst from the door, clad in a "Kiss me, I'm Russian" apron, and tighty whiteys. Not that I was oogling at his immaculate bod, of course not! But, once I saw him, I immediately remembered where I was, and relief replaced my panic.

"Alfred, are you okay? I was just done making break-"

"Breakfast?"

"…Yes. Did you forget where you were again?"

"…Yes. Sorry. I do that a lot." I replied sheepishly. I couldn't help but giggle at my morning silliness, and Ivan smiled. Immediately, I ripped off the covers, only to have the cold air rush across my body. I gasped, and cocooned myself in the tossed duvet. Ivan smiled in amusement, while tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

"You look like a little babushka doll!" Ivan cooed, coaxing me into his warmth. I pouted, but I affectionately hugged him back.

"Well, Alfred needs foods. Alfred no babushka doll." I laughed, and Ivan smirked.

"Ivan shall talk in third person as well. Ivan shall carry babushka doll." He replied, before hauling me up on one shoulder. He only let out a hearty chuckle as I flailed playfully. Ivan successfully carried me down the stairs, and into his dining room. There, he set me down into a chair, before rushing into the kitchen. The room was spacious and grand, with a simple elegance. A vase of sunflowers and baby's breath adorned the middle of the black table. I held my head in my hands as I admired my lover's favorite flower. I sighed contentedly. '_I'm so happy… That he… loves… me… too…_' I thought as I bit my lip, a smile stretching them both across my face. Gushing, I hugged myself.

"I'm acting like a love sick schoolgirl… And I honestly don't give a crap." I mumbled happily, giggling. But, the words were true. Ivan then came in, holding a large plate, complete with pancakes, eggs, bacon (Canadian and regular. Fancy fancy, right?) and sausage links. My eyes were as wide as the plate (they literally were!), and I grinned brightly.

"Ivan! You made all this food for me?" I exclaimed happily. Ivan grinned as he caressed my cheek.

"Well, I didn't want you to be hungry this morning! Eat up, моя любовь." He replied cheerfully, before getting up and placing a chaste kiss on my cheek. But, as he slipped back into the kitchen, his cell phone dropped from the loose pocket of the apron. I sprung up from my chair and picked it up. The alarm rang, and a text message menu popped onto the screen. '_He got a text from Arthur? Why?_' I pondered, and I immediately opened the message. It stated;

"I'm glad Alfred's happy. He's liked you a long time. I'm just glad that I could have helped even a little, even though the means were embarrassing. For him, of course.

~ Arthur Kirkland"

Immediately, my face flared up in a blush. 'So this whole bet was a set up so I would realize my feelings?' I thought, and the idea dawned on me. It was. I ran into the kitchen, and collided with Ivan. The orange juice he poured splashed into the air, and drenched me and Ivan.

"Ivan, was the bet a set up?" I asked, and added, "I read Arthur's text. Please don't lie."

Ivan tensed, and then sighed guiltily. He bit his lip, and looked into my eyes. His expression of sadness and guilt contorted his features. He swallowed.

"Alfred," He began, "Come into the television room. I have something to show you."

…

Once we had settled onto the couch, Ivan put in a disk. The screen was fuzzy, but then began to clear. It revealed a bustling city landscape, and in it was a man, dressed up as a…cow. The outrageous costume had incredibly long utters, and had two cow ears on the top. He wore black shades, and a sparkling red thong. The only part of his face that was exposed was his mouth and face, and a boom box sat on his shoulder. The man swaggered toward the camera, and bellowed,

"Let's see if any of the lovely ladies and guys here don't want some milkshakes?"

Immediately, I recognized the voice to be… Arthur's. Said Brit threw his head back as he cackled, and turned on the machine. It blasted out "Milkshake" by Kelis, and I burst into laughter. Arthur ridiculously strode down the street, swaying his hips seductively. He placed the boom box gingerly on the ground, and began to sway his hips, wiggle his arms, and jerk his head back in forth in fluid movements. He began to do interpretive dance, and trapped a man in his arms as he wiggled his butt and fingers, moving up and down quickly.

"Sir, would you like a milkshake?" Arthur bellowed, in his thick pirate voice. The man, already thoroughly disgusted, retorted,

"No, I do not!"

Arthur just cackled louder, and squeezed his top row of utters. A jet of white spewed into his face, and he spat, to trying regain his composure. The man growled, and tried to punch Arthur. Arthur just fluidly dodged, and scooped up the boom box.

"Time to move location you sexy bitches!" He bellowed, and the video cut to another street corner. This time, Arthur did his dance, but another cow, a chocolate brown bull, came around the corner. Automatically, I recognized him as Francis, and he began to grind himself behind Arthur. Arthur only squirted his "milkshake" in time with the song, effectively spraying passersby. One man, a dark haired Asian man with a renegade curl, passed, and stopped, opening his mouth. The liquid jutted into his mouth, and he smiled, giving Arthur a thumbs up.

"Milkshakes were invented in South Korea, daze~!" He exclaimed cheerfully, after he had gotten his fill. Arthur only laughed, nodding in time with the song. A handsome red head, in a business suit, with a cigarette hanging out his mouth, began to grind against Arthur and pump his arms in the air. The man looked over, and locked his eyes with the camera.

"Scotland! Scotland!" He chanted, before trying the milkshake coming out of Arthur's utter. He took out his cigarette, and licked his lips in a sultry manner, before walking back in the opposite direction.

"STOP! STOP! ZIS IS ZHE POLICE!" A police officer (with a thick German accent) boomed, and Arthur and Francis stopped their sporadic dance. Arthur immediately scooped up the boom box, and raced toward the cameraman. The camera man began to run, but somehow fastened his camera to his back, so that it had a clear (if bumpy) image of Arthur and Francis sprinting. Arthur took the boom box, and threw it at the officer. Luckily, the officer dodged quickly, and regained his momentum.

"G-GILBERT! GET ZHAT BLASTED CAMERA OFF JOUR BACK!" The officer boomed, and the cameraman burst into laughter.

"CATCH ME IF JOU CAN, PANZY BOY~~!" Gilbert hollered back, and the officer became irate. He yanked out a small black item, and gained more speed. Gilbert also ran faster, and Arthur and Francis slipped into an alleyway as the officer was sprinting past them.

"GILBERT! JOU STUPID _DUMMKOPF_!" The officer shrieked, before jabbing Gilbert in the side. The camera short circuited, and died. Just when I thought it was over, Gilbert began to film the officer with his flip camcorder.

"Ludwig~! Vhy did jou break jour dear GilGil's precious camera?" Gilbert inquired, and sniffled. Ludwig sighed, and hauled him into the car.

"Take him home. I'll talk with him later." Ludwig instructed to someone, and they grunted in reply. Ludwig waved to the camera, and he frowned as Gilbert chuckled. "Gilbert, I could take jou to jail for giving me zhe middle finger."

"Fine, panzy boy~!" Gilbert retorted smugly, and the car began to drive away.

…

"So, that's what happened with the bet? I had completely forgotten the rules because I was drunk." I said, and laced my fingers in his. I also added, "And I don't care if you needed to cheat a little bit with our bet to make me realize my feelings for you."

Ivan's face lit up, and I smiled, but I still stayed serious.

"But," I began, "Don't lie to me again like that, okay?"

Ivan nodded, and replied, "Hey, Alfred, there's also something else you should know."

"What?"

"You're going to be a father! I'm pregnant!" He exclaimed, and I punched him lightly in the shoulder.

"You're a bad liar, you know that? Even if I didn't make love to you, I would know." I replied, and he grinned, before pulling me into a kiss. At that moment, I was perfectly blissful, and safe in his arms.


End file.
